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"Can't. Too much work to do. There's the Enkiar operation coming up, and I've
promised to take Beralyn home."
The dwarf nodded grimly. "It might be best, in the long run. I've been talking
to Gwellin; he's always thinking about going back to Endell."
"I knew that but why you?"
"You notice a lot of dwarf women around?"
Karl nodded. "Well, it was always understood Gwellin and his people are only
temporarily with us. But their word is as good as "
"The word of Karl Cullinane." Ahira chuckled. "Quite right; no word will be
said about guns. But, Karl..."
"Well?"
"Well, if they ever throw me out of office, I'm thinking that it might be a
good idea if I went with him. I'm still not sure what I am, Karl. I've spent
seven years now as a cross between a human and a dwarf, and I'm beginning to
wonder..."
Karl stopped. "Ahira. Look me in the face. You wanted to lose today, didn't
you?" *
The dwarf didn't answer.
"Didn't you?"
"Karl, I... just don't know." Ahira pounded his fist against the flat of his
hand. "I really don't know, not anymore. It's different for me than it is for
you. You subordinated Barak to your own needs years ago.
I'm... still betwixt and between. And I know that I owe my life to Walter, and
Riccetti, and Andy and most particularly to you, but..." He looked up.
"Dammit, Karl, why can't things be clearer to me? You always seem to know what
you're doing."
"Not you. Please." Karl threw up his hands. "Don't you start to buy into the
legend. I'm still me, Ahira, just plain old Karl Cullinane who staggers
through life, improvising as he goes."
And some of those improvisations have cost lives, Jimmy
. "I just do the best I can." He clapped a hand to Ahira's shoulder.
"But once I finish with this Enkiar operation and get Beralyn back to Bieme,
what say I hang around
Home for a while? Would that do for the time being?"
"Let's try it." The dwarf nodded. "I think so. It wouldn't be all bad, you
know. You could teach some school, spend more time with your wife and son."
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"Okay. Just give me time, Ahira. It'll take a while to finish up what I've
started. One favor, though."
"Yes?"
"When it's just the two of us alone, could I call you James Michael? It'd be
sort of a taste of home."
"And it might remind me who I really am supposed to be, eh?"
"No. That you've got to decide for yourself."
They walked along in silence for a long time. In front of them, the lamp still
burned on the porch. The dwarf climbed the steps and turned to him. "You do
what you have to, Karl. And I'll hold out here just as long as I can. Who
knows? This whole Joiner nonsense may subside."
But your own problem won't
. "Maybe it will."
"About that favor..."
"Yes?"
"I think you'd better call me Ahira. It's who I am, after all. Goodnight."
CHAPTER TWELVE
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Parting
The voice of the turtledove speaks out. It says: Day breaks, which way are you
going? Lay off, little bird, must you scold me so?
Love Songs of the New Kingdom
Karl checked the third packhorse's cinch for the twentieth time as he eyed the
house in the predawn light, wondering if he'd ever see it again.
I've always got to make my goodbyes count
, he thought.
They may end up being all too real.
*You're stalling. Which is probably the most sensible thing you've ever done.
You should let me *
No. Case closed
.
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Beralyn and Tennetty sat astride their horses, waiting with patently false
patience. Chak, sitting comfortably in the saddle on his gray gelding, was
more phlegmatic. It didn't matter to him whether they left now or in a few
minutes.
Karl shook his head.
I'd better go
.
Andy-Andy stood on the porch, watching him silently. There was nothing more to
say; all of it had been said last night.
I'll miss you terribly
, he mouthed. As always.
One more thing to do. He walked up the steps and into the foyer, then climbed
the stairs to Jason's room.
Mikyn and Jason lay sleeping under their blankets.
Karl knelt on the floor and gently kissed Jason on the forehead. No need to
wake him.
Watch over him, will you?
He tore himself away from the room, and the boy.
*As always, Karl.*
U'len caught up with him on the steps. "Look, you be careful," she said, her
voice a harsh whisper. "I
have a bad feeling about this." She shook her head, her hands behind her back.
"You always have a bad feeling."
She snorted. "True enough. Here," she said, producing a muslin sack, then
turning away. "For the road."
"But we've got plenty of food " He stopped himself. "Thank you, U'len," he
said. "See you soon."
She nodded gravely. "Maybe. Maybe this time. But one time you won't come back,
Karl Cullinane. Get your fool ass killed, you will, sooner or later."
"Maybe." He forced a smile. "How about double or nothing on your salary? If
I'm not back in, say, two hundred days, you get double your pay for that
time otherwise, you work for free for however long I'm out."
"I don't bet against you." She cocked her head to one side. "Although, if
you'd care to give me odds?" She put her hands on his shoulder and turned him
about, then pushed him toward the door. "If you're going, get out of here."
Andy-Andy was still waiting on the porch. "I still think you should let
Ellegon fly you."
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He shook his head. "I don't want him away from Home. Not until Gwellin and the
rest are back on guard.
They should be back in a couple of weeks at the outside; then he can go back
to resupplying runs. But until then, I'd just as soon not have to worry about
whether or not you're safe when I go to sleep at night."
"And I'm not supposed to " She stopped and shook her head in apology. Arguing
over a settled issue wasn't a luxury that Andy allowed herself. "Did you mean
what you told Ahira the other night? About spending some more time around
here, after this one?"
He nodded. "I think a couple of years of semiretirement would do me a bit of
good let Chak run the team for a while. Besides, if the guild keeps raiding
into Therranj, I might just take a small group out for a tenday every now and
then, keep them on their toes."
The whole world didn't rest on Karl's shoulders, not anymore.
With Aveneer's and Daven's teams working, with rumors of others attacking and
robbing slavers, the guild was on the run.
Even if he knew that he couldn't possibly live to see the end of the work, it
was fairly begun. A phrase from Edmund Burke popped into his mind: "Slavery
they can have everywhere. It is a weed that grows in every soil."
Not any soil around me, Eddie. Just think of me as a weedkiller
.
No. Lou Riccetti was the weedkiller, although eventually, the secret of
gunpowder would get out. And that might not be a bad thing. Like them or not,
guns were a leveling phenomenon, a democratizing one, in the long run. "All
men are created equal," people would say. "Lou Riccetti made them that way."
He hitched at his swordbelt, then threw his arms around her, burying his face
in her hair. "Be well," he whispered.
"You'd damn well better take care of yourself, hero." She pressed her lips to
his and kissed him thoroughly.
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